SALVE on the RUN

Double Standards Women Face

A few days ago, while I was browsing my Facebook newsfeed, I came across an image-quote that says:

An English professor wrote the words “WOMAN WITHOUR HER MAN IS NOTHING” on the blackboard and directed his students to punctuate it properly. The men wrote: “WOMAN, WITHOUR HER MAN, IS NOTHING”. The women wrote: “WOMAN: WITHOUR HER, MAN IS NOTHING”.

This made me think that yes, up until now, most men still view us inferior over them – in sports, politics, corporate world, and just about everything in life. 

This is how society sees us:

  1. Homemaker – That we should just stay at home, clean the house, take care of the babies and cook food for the family. Have you seen the meme “Make Me a Sandwich”? I really, really, abhor this meme. I mean, it’s not just sandwich that we can make, we can also bake cookies and cake! But seriously, it’s just too sexist. I know that we excel in taking care of the household, but I believe that we should not be confined in the 4 corners of our home.
  2. Weak – physically and emotionally. I hate it when a guy says that I should be gentle and that I should not run too much, work-out too much, laugh too much and even eat too much. Isn’t it too much?! Most men also think that we cannot do physically demanding activities, like running a marathon, joining a triathlon, or carry heavy equipment because they think that women are fragile, and that we bruise easily. Aww, sweet… NOT.
  3. Should not be aggressive. This is one of the norms of society that I definitely hate - that women should not be aggressive, especially when it comes to dating. Whoever said that women cannot make the first move should be slapped on the face – with a chair. No, seriously, I don’t think it makes us less of a person if we are the first one to approach a guy, right? 
  4. Child-bearer and an object for sex. Believe it or not, there are still places in this world where women are viewed only for one particular purpose: to be a child factory.

Last year, a famous shampoo brand released a commercial which tackles how women are labelled in the society. Some of which are:

  • While the man is the boss, the woman is bossy.
  • Men are persuasive, while the woman is pushy.
  •  If a guy works late, he’s dedicated, but if a woman does the same, she is selfish.
  • A man who struts down the street is smooth, but his female counterpart is showy.

And the most common double standard women face is: If a guy has more than one woman, he’s the man, and if a woman has more than one man, she’s a whore.

Why do we face this kind of labels? What if I told you, what men can do, women can do better? Here are some examples:

  1. Politics. Some of the notable women in the field of politics are: Margaret Thatcher, Golda Meir, Hilary Clinton, Miriam Defensor Santiago, GMA, Pia Cayetano. I believe women are the better politicians because they are inclined to modern leadership which is more collaborative, and consultative.
  2. Corporate World. Two of the most powerful women-leaders are: Marissa Mayer, CEO of Yahoo & Indra Nooyi, CEO of PepsiCo. In the company I am working for, the president is also a woman. I strongly believe that women are better in the corporate world because they are great decision makers and negotiators since they are keen to details and look at all sides of a problem. They are also more compassionate to their co-workers so they understand their people more.
  3. Sports. Do you know that women participate better in endurance sports than men? It’s because women have more fat in their bodies – which gives them more energy to last longer in endurance races like ultra-marathon and triathlon.image
  4. Health. Women are also better when it comes to taking care of their health. Study shows that women live longer than men because they engage less in smoking and drinking alcohol. They also last longer under the sheets (IYKWIM).

I think I’ve already made my point. I know that this topic will raise a lot of (manly) brows and I am not expecting the men to want to become women at the end of this post. I just want you to respect women – and eventually change your views about us being the fairer sex. And please, enough of the double-standards.

So let me just end this with my most favorite quote by Betty White about women empowerment:

Why do people say “grow some balls”? Balls are weak and sensitive. If you wanna be tough, grow a vagina. Those things can take a pounding.

Nailed it. (pun intended)

Why You Must Love Yourself First

To every girl who has changed herself just so she can fit in the society; to the woman who changed her hair and the way she wears her clothes, or tried losing a few pounds just so the person she likes will like her back: I feel you.

They say that love is a woman’s kryptonite. You may be the strongest athlete, or the head of a company, but when it comes to matters of the heart, you melt easily. It is safe to say that love makes a woman weak, to the point that you are willing to change what you have established in years for a man that you are not sure will love you back the way you want to be loved.

The scary thing about love is you become vulnerable because you break down your walls when you open your heart out. Let’s call that wall “Self Love”.That protection tends to tumble when you let someone live within your heart. That way, you are giving the other person the opportunity to hurt you, and let your feelings be affected by him. I am not saying that you should not let your guard down, but isn’t it great if you don’t have to break your walls because you know he’s strong enough to climb that wall?

Now let’s compare LOVE to one of my favorite things in life – a CAKE. Like a cake, you have to start with a strong foundation so it will not break down. That foundation is the love for yourself. It shouldn’t be too soft or too hard. The layers inside are the pieces of you that you have to taste and appreciate. They may have different flavors: some are sweet, others are bitter. It makes the cake more delicious the same way your imperfections make you amazing. And if a wonderful man comes in to your life, well isn’t it fabulous? But see, it’s just a bonus. Like an icing on the cake, a glorified whipped cream. Yes, it’s sweet, but it will never fill you in a way a whole cake can fill you.

Girl, you don’t have to change anything because you are amazing just the way you are (Hello, Bruno Mars!). That thick hips of yours? It is so damn sexy. Your legs that are not so thin, I know they are strong. Your curly hair, you can rock it the way Beyonce sports it. Dear, your thigh gap (or the lack of it) does not define you, so don’t be pressured by the media brainwashing us that a woman should be as thin as a Victoria’s Secret angel to be loved.

This sounds a little too cliché but the truth is, you should learn to love yourself first before you can love another. Accept all your flaws and weaknesses. Soak yourself on your self-love and let that love permeate within you until it overflows.

Cheers! Eat a cake today and spread the love.

To All The Men I’ve Loved (or Liked) Before

Dear Gentlemen,

Thank you. Thank you for not being the right person for me at the right time and for not being the one I imagined and thought would be. I would like to reiterate on the “right time” part. You may be the right person for me (believe me, I tried convincing myself before) but sometimes, the timing is just not right. I would like you to know that I don’t have bad blood to any of you, even if some of you have hurt me beyond repair. So to all the men I’ve liked before: My First Everything, The “We-Are-Both-Taken-But-We-Don’t-Care”, The Close Friend, The Fratman, The Guy Who Unleashed the Assuming In Me, and to The Guy Who Made Me Do the First Move, this post is for you.

To My First Everything,

It would be unfair to you to actually be compared to other guys I’ve been attracted to. Our relationship was just incomparable. We were together for almost SIX years and I know a single paragraph is not enough to tell you how much impact you made to my life. You were my first everything – first kiss, first touch, first love, and first tremendous heart ache. You used to tell me you loved me more. And I believed you – until the day I became the one who loved more.

Thank you for teaching me how to love. I was a naïve, scared, and unattractive high school geek but you brought out the beautiful princess in me. Because of you, I realized how capable I am to love – and how strong I am to fix myself back after crumbling into pieces. I loved you dearly.

To “We-Are-Both-Taken-But-We-Don’t-Care”,

You were one of the most exciting parts of my college life. I remember the first time I got to know you – when only the two of us had to stay late because we were not yet done with our ES 1 plates. You had a very cute smile (and I am such a sucker for cute smiles!), twinkling eyes, and a very nice taste in music. But there is one problem: I was in a relationship during that time, and so were you (Well, that makes it two problems!). We tried going out – lunch breaks, dinner, movie dates. But we couldn’t escape the fact that we were hurting other people – and that was when we decided to stop. Thank you because you made me realize that we couldn’t have all the things we want in this world, and that sometimes we have to choose between who makes us happy and who makes us stay even on the hard times. Clearly, I chose the hard times.

To The Close Friend,

I am sorry to say that you were the rebound after My First Everything. It was really unfair of me to like you just so I could move on from my ex. But still, thank you because you somehow made life easier for me. I am happy to know that we are still friends up to now and that we can just laugh off at everything that happened in the past.

To The Fratman,

First of all, you’re a douche. Because of you, I now have the thinking that fratmen are the worst lovers. You were never the right guy for me – you had that messy hair, you were always late, and you got kicked out from your department. But there was something about you that made me like you – your messy hair, probably? Or the fact that you were not like the rest. I was so happy when you gave me your baller wristband in which your fraternity name was engraved. I was even happier when a sorority girl got jealous because of it. Sadly, it was a short-lived attraction. Bad boys were never for me.

We still talk occasionally, but I noticed that you always call or message me whenever you and your girlfriend break up. I’m so sorry but I know better now. Go find someone else to bug.

To The Guy Who Unleashed the Assuming In Me,

You gave me all the reasons to be a POTASSIUM – POTA na, ASSUMING pa. But I don’t know if I was to blame, too. I didn’t like you at first – because my friend likes you, and we have this unwritten rule that we cannot share a crush. I broke that rule for you. We share the same passion and that’s where it all started. We started chatting, talking, and going out – which made me think there was really something. I’m sorry if I thought there could be more. I’m sorry because you are such a great person but all my friends thought you’re a douche. But thank you. Thank you for caring for me, for sharing me great music, and for just being there when I needed someone before.

I want you to know that you are a great guy and I don’t have any more bitterness towards you. Let’s hang out again soon. I promise not to assume – just don’t give me a reason to. :)

To The Guy Who Made Me Do the First Move,

You were lucky. I don’t usually do the first move on guys but there was something about you that made me do it. I liked you the first time I saw you, and I don’t know why. But one thing I know is that I’m willing to go out of my way to get to know you. I’m sorry if you feel like I’m coming on too strong. Believe me, I tried hard not to ask you out – but I know I would regret it if I didn’t. Sadly, you declined. But it’s okay. At least I can say to myself that once in my life I defied the norms of society – because I asked a guy out. Thank you and I wish you all the good things in life.

They say bad experiences make good stories. I say past lovers make a good post. :)

National Geographic Run 2014
April 27, 2014

Paced Joana on her 1st 21K

To God be the glory.

#pacerduties #21K

MVP Olympics 2014
10K Open
March 22, 2014

Time not measured.

Distance is short of 1.5K.
Poor registration system, killer route. Runfest
July 14, 2013
Time: 2:35:—

RUN United 2 Afroman Distance (32K)
June 2, 2013

Pace UP 15K
UP Diliman
May 19, 2013

Actual distance: 15.84K
Time: 1:51:53

NatGeo Earth Day Run 21K
April 28, 2013
Time: 2:33:22

To God be the glory!

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